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Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) directed by Michele Soavi.
(Proposed Title: “It’s OK to love the undead, just don’t LOVE the undead.”)
Starring Rupert Everett, François Hadji-Lazaro, Anna Falchi, Mickey Knox and Fabiana Formica.
Zombie Film Rating:

“‘Till death do us part…sorta”

Teaser: Francesco Dellamorte leads a humble existence, tending to the Buffalora cemetary by day and killing the reanimated bodies of it’s newest residents by night. It’s not this that causes him distress however. Discovering the woman of his dreams among the mourners causes him to re-evaluate his existence.

Francesco finds that discovering true love is the easy part. Making it last is somewhat more difficult. Naturally the zombies don’t help matters at all, and when you add Francescos burning desire to escape Buffalora altogether you end up with an interestingly odd take on a zombie movie.

Will Francesco find love and live happily ever after. Will he “live” at all.

“My name is Francesco Dellamorte, wierd name isn’t it? Francis of death. Saint francis of death. I’ve often thought about having it changed.” - Francesco Dellamorte

“Damn door-to-door zombies!”

Summary: Francesco Dellamorte is the night watchman of the Buffalora cemetary. In addition to the duties one might normally expect, he has become responsible for dealing with an epidemic which sees the dead return from the grave seven days after their passing. Referring to them only as “returners” he remains philisophical about the larger ramifications of this epidemic, and (pardon the pun) buries himself in his work. That is until he meets the widow Martin, who he describes as the most beautiful living woman he has ever seen.

His pursuit of the Widow Martin is unsuccessful until he mentions, in passing, that the cemetary has an ossuary, which sparks her interest and while showing it to her they exchange a deep, but disturbing kiss. The mood is broken by the memory of her departed husband. She flees into the night, leaving some portions of her clothing behind. Her flight is short lived, however, and Francesco finds her at the grave of her late husband, where they become more intimately acquainted. She explains her choice of location is because she has never kept anything from her husband.

“Poor Nhagi, on his id card it reads “Distinctive Visible Marks: All” - Francesco Dellamorte

“Stalking is such an ugly word, I prefer surveil.”

Not surprisingly Francesco is not the only one to rise to the occasion, and the untimely “returning” of her late husband irreperably spoils the mood. The Widow suffers a bite before Francesco can re-kill her husband. Suffering the effects of the bite, the Widow Martin drops into a coma and dies.The local police are called to investigate, but when the doctor pronounces the cause of death to have been fright combined with excitement Francesco is eliminated as a suspect.

He moves her body to the Ossury, and awaits her return. It is not to be a long wait. She rises, and Francesco fires the requisite headshot.

“The living dead and the dying living are all the same. Cut from the same cloth. But disposing of dead people is a public service, whereas you’re in all sorts of trouble if you kill someone when they’re still alive.” - Francesco Dellamorte

“Love bites, my ass!”

Death in Buffalora never sleeps however, and a virtual flood of the recently deceased fill the cemetary. Francesco and Nhagi find themselves overwhelmed with “returners”. Nagi finds his own sad version of love in the severed head of the mayors dead Daughter, Valentina, while Francesco morosely stalks the graveyard grappling with his own demons. The widow Martin rises and makes an effort to eat Francesco, who is saved only by the timely intervention of Nagi. It is then that Francesco realizes that she had not been killed by the bite of her husband, but rather by the shot delivered by Francescos hand, that he had, in fact, killed the only woman he had ever loved.

“At a certain point in life you realize that you know more dead people than living.” - Francesco Dellamorte

“Just drumming up some business.”

The following day Francesco has a brief, but disturbing, encounter with the Grim Reaper who chastises him for his efforts in controling the dead rising within the cemetary. Francesco then has a dream where he wanders the town square shooting the living. A strangely vivid dream made stranger when he is awoken by Inspector Fierro who asks Francesco for his alibi the previous night, as a “madman” had killed seven people in town. Before the inspector can conduct any sort of investigation, the Mayor arrives to disinter his daughters body for a strange phot-op. The absence of her head dampens his enthusiasm a bit, but he is beckoned by Valentinas voice coming from Nagis room. When the mayor refuses to give Valentina his blessing to marry Nagi, she attacks him. Francesco arrives in time to kill Valentina, but the mayor is dead.

“Stop killing the dead. They’re mine. If you don’t want the dead coming back to life why don’t you just kill the living? Shoot them in the head. Are you listening to me?” - The Grim Reaper

“Who knew hospital work was so perilous to the staff?”

The new mayor arrives at the cemetary and asks Francesco about an M3 report detailing the epidemic at the cemetary. Francesco completes an official “denial” form, and the mayor leaves pausing only to introduce his assistant. His assistant is identical to the late Widow Martin, and once again Francesco finds himself in love. She arrives unannounced at his house that night, and professes her love for him. She proposes marriage, but has one condition. Francesco must be impotent. He attends to the local doctors to ensure he holds up his end of the bargain. She finds him after his “treatment” and tells him that she’s
marrying the mayor, and dances out of sight telling Francesco they can still be friends.

“Mind your business! I shall be eaten by whomever I please!” - Girlfriend of the undead

“Now that is truly fugly.”

After some more similar schenanigans, Francesco and Nagi decide to leave Buffalora for ever. Racing away in Francescos Volkswagen they drive away from the town, but find to their dismay that the road ends at a precipice just beyond the towns limits.

Critique: This film is one of the rare exceptions that makes the rule so worthwhile. A zombie movie that finds its own way, unencumbered by the established zombie lore. We’re taken to a brand new world, the rules are explained by the main character and we’re left to enjoy the developments of the film without once shouting “Shoot them in the head, dammit!”.

The movie has all the polish (with a few minor exceptions) or a major film, the acting is more than adequate and a dark sense of humour permeates the entire production. Overall this film is a treat, entertaining and enjoyable.

Definately a “must-see”.

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