Moral-Flexibility.Net

Choking Hazard (2004) directed by Marek Dobes.
(MF Title: “Czech this zombie movie out….”)
Starring Jan Dolanský, Jaroslav Dusek, Eva Nadazdyova, Anna Fialkova, Kamil Svejda and Eva Janouskova.
Zombie Film Rating:

Overview: What if woodsman zombies rose from their graves and attacked you while you were attending a workshop on the meaning of life at a hotel in the middle of nowhere? Personally it’s exactly this “what if?” that has kept me awake at night for years.

Yet it is exactly that which happens here. Our group (comprised of a blind doctor, a nymphomaniac and a Johovas Witness Porno Star among others) are seeking the answers to the meaning of life when their discussion is rudely interupted by a mob of zombie woodsmen (The Czech equivalent of Redneck Zombies?). Our philisophical survivors scramble about seeking a way out of their predictament as their hopes (as well as their numbers) steadily dwindle.

Summary: The film opens with a leather clad woman smashing the skull of zombie in the middle of the forest, once done she pauses to apply some make up, then as the zombie climbs to its feet behind her, she blows its head off with a shotgun.

We are then immediately taken to the “Halali Hotel” where a workshop is being conducted by the respected (and blind) Doctor Reinis about the “Meaning of Life“. There are 5 attendees at this point and each plays their introductory video showing a little about themselves (we have the Gen-X malcontent, the Compulsive, the Slut and the dysfunctional boyfriend and girlfriend (who appear to be the proprietors of the hotel).

While the openning lecture is being handled by the good doctor, the kitchen staff are overwhelmed by a sudden horde of zombies that storm in as soon as the rear door is openned. The workshop attendees are blissfully unaware until someone opens the door to the kitchen and zombies (once again lurking just behind a closed, but unlocked door) explode into the dining area.

The non-blind attendees flee the hotel, and are about to make good their escape when they discover there are still more zombies outside (isn’t that always the way?). In the chaos of re-entering the hotel they are seperated into two groups, and barricade themselves inside whatever rooms they can find within the hotel.

Eventually both groups decide to take the fight to the undead. Despite their initial success in this, a new wave of zombies arrive (these representing “reason”) as these are smart zombies they quickly resume the culling of the un-undead. In the end it is only the quick wits of the remaining survivors that allow them to survive until the mysterious withdrawl of the zombie hordes.

Quotes:

• “Close the door you man-eating, drunk, sex starved erotomaniac!” - Mirek
• “Woombies are everywhere…Woodsman Zombies, Woombies!” - Klara
• “I don’t do dead Jehovists!” - Krenovcova
• “If one of them bites me I want you to make sure I don’t come back like him. It’d screw up the Kingdom of Heaven for me for sure.” - Karel

Critique: I liked this film, especially when you consider the entire thing was shot on a $100,000 budget over 30 days I was also significantly impressed with the camera work, editing and professionalism evident here, it’s far too easy to forget that this is a “low budget” production, and just get sucked right in.

While this is hardly a comedy on par with Shaun of the Dead, it is a light hearted romp through zombie-land, and there were more than a few instances where the movie wrung a giggle or two out of me. The movie manages to be funny while still being somewhat of a horror movie, and again given the constraints (both budget and timewise) the end product is pretty amazing.

The subtitles can be a little annoying (I’d rather watch the entire screen than the bottom segment), and the directors commentary is less than inspiring (although to be fair English is not Dobes first language, and he makes a fair showing considering).

My only other complaint is with the departure from standard zombie lore without so much as an explanation. Once again we get next to no back story, it’s never made at all clear why the zombies arose (and then depart) so quickly, or why the outbreak is isolated to this one area. This all may be explained in a previous film, or a later one, but it irked me all the same.

Much like the appearance of the leather clad woman at the beginning and end of the film, I’m left wondering “huh?”.

The Final Word: I say grab this one if you come across it, you might even consider going out of your way to find a copy. It’s a worthwhile addition to the collection.

It is not going to “rock your socks off”, but it will keep you entertained for an hour and half (if it doesn’t I’ll refund the money you paid to read this review).

Comments RSS