Aug 16 2007
Kids or no kids?
Rachel Lucas has an interesting post up about why she does not want kids. The short version is “money”, but there’s more, go on over and give it a read. I’ll wait.
Back already? Sure.
The most interesting part of the post, to me, was this;
I started asking every mother I knew (and a few fathers) whether, if they could do it over again, they’d have children….Anyway, the overwhelming majority (all but two) of my respondents gave a big fat NO as their answer. Even the ones who had tons of money (doctor’s wife), the hardcore evangelical Christians, and the ones who had really fantastic kids. They all said it was the loss of freedom and the huge expense that they regretted the most.
No one can argue the responsibilities of parenthood, and both money and freedom have been a big issue for Lisa and I since we became parents just shy of three years ago, but would we do it over again if we could? Speaking for myself here I would absolutely do it the same way if I could do it over again. Would I do it again (ie second child), no.
You see I’ve had this chat with both my brother and with friends that were considering parenthood, and I’ve pointed out the catch-22 of parenthood each and every time. I don’t recommend it but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ve watched my daughter grow from a small screaming bundle to a largely autonomous being that amazes me each and every day in different ways.
Had Lisa and I not had Jillian we would undoubtedly had more disposable income, I’d have more shiny boomsticks, we could work whatever hours we wanted and I could hibernate with impunity. While all that is rather appealing it counts for absolutely nothing each and every time I look into my daughters eyes. I’d trade this for nothing, she is absolutely worth every sacrifice.
A cliche? Absolutely, but no less true for it.
It’s certainly no party, but it’s the only one I want to attend.
Well said.
I don’t want to have kids because, quite frankly, I know myself and know I would not make a good father. There’s a difference between being a nice person (which I find it rather easy to be) and having the patience, drive and fortitude to effectively raise a decent human being. When I don’t like dealing with someone, I dismiss them and essentially walk away. I can’t abandon my child, but I don’t think I wouldn’t; And that scares me.
All I can say is, get lots of practice changing Jilly’s diapers. You’ll be changing mine soon! LOL!!
“All I can say is, get lots of practice changing Jilly’s diapers. You’ll be changing mine soon! LOL!!”
Gross!
Depending on how you read that, it could be construed as a threat, or, you just had an accident, and need to be changed.
Either way, my dreams will be filled with the horror of that image.
Thanks.
Considering my Dad is older than yours and he’s living with us – you should be more worried on this end.
N
I’d like to chime in as a soon to be father of 2. My life is budgetarily restrained, it was tight to begin with. My kid has severe teeth issues, and can now escape from just about any enclosure we can legally confine him to, and my pregnant wife’s already short patience is razor thin these days.
Would I do it again? (For a third time?) HELL YES! Am I a great kick ass amazing father? HELL NO! Does my kid love me anyway. YES! and that’s what matters.
If you don’t want kids. Don’t have them. Out generation has seen the rise of divorce rates, and bitter disappointed families trying to “keep it together for the kids”. If you don’t want a kid to go through that, then please don’t do it. But I’ve always wanted a big family. It is now my reason for reason. I’ll have the kids. I want ‘em.
“à chacun son goût” has always been my motto. (Screw you, go look it up
)
At the monent I haven’t any ankle bitters,but it is not off the table at some future date. Even if me and wife can not conceive children, we can always adopt. I have no problem with adoption, seeing I was adopted by two loving parents.
But at the moment, yes money is the main factor for not having kids at this time.
“my pregnant wife’s already short patience is razor thin these days.”
Ok he knows I read this site, and he implies that I always have short patience? And he wonders why I beat him! For the record when I leave him, I’m leaving him with the brats!
Would I do it again…. umm ask me when I’m not pregnant and feeling as large as a house.
As for “legally” confine him to, we could always buy one of these… it just seems wrong to me though:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2404625&cp=&sr=1&f=Taxonomy%2FTRUS%2F2254197&origkw=tent&kw=tent&parentPage=search
That crib tent looks a little flimsy. I don’t think even that’ll work.
That was what I said to her yesterday. The secon thing people always say about Wes after “He’s so big!” is “He’s so strong!” wire mesh aint gonna stop him, and anything heavier would probably be considered cruel and unusual.
As a father of five boys a 12 year, old a 7 year old,3 year old and a set of twin boys all of 10 months I’ll be the first to admit that there are days I would like to trade them all in for burger and a beer but then I remember I dont drink.
like the man said I love all my kids besides I hope to live long enough to have thier kids to wind up then send them home.